I’m writing this to give you all an insight into what I
have learned about wedding planning since my wedding. What at first
I saw dimly now I see clearly.
1. I wish someone had told me that it didn’t
matter what shoes I wore because you only seen the tips of my toes.
I went for an expensive bridal shoe because it looked the part but
you couldn’t see them under the dress and they hurt my feet. They
were only 3.4 inch heels but they were kitten heels and I guess this
was the problem. I said no to block heels point blank but if I was
getting married again I would say Yes Yes Yes...
2. I also wish that someone had told me that
ordering the same colour of dress (flower girl and Bridesmaid) from
the same designer didn’t necessarily mean they would be the same
colour. If doing this then make sure both dresses are the same
fabric as well because it’s very hard to get the colours exact
otherwise. Also.. Order all the dresses together so that they will
come from the same run of material. It may be hard to shell out for
loads of dresses together but if it matters they are the same
shade, please take my advice.
3. Keep checking with people to make sure
they are still available to do your wedding. If there is more than
one person involved in the company then insist that he/she asks the
other members involved before giving you the Yes word. We had our
band cancel 3 weeks before because the singer said yes but then
(when pressed to ask the others) they had booked holidays.
4. When ordering your cars take your height
and size of dress into account. We ordered a Beauford which is a
brilliant car but we never thought of what head room we would have
when the soft top was on. We never imagined it would rain in August
but it poured. I had to sit slightly sloped because the boning in my
dress meant I had to keep be abdominals straight. It was still a
gorgeous car though but make sure you can sit comfortably especially
if it’s a long journey
5. It’s really important to have a plan B
for photographs especially if your photographer has an old style
film run through camera. Films do get stuck on the odd occasion and
therefore it is always good to make sure there is someone there with
a good quality digital camera (9mp or above) to take second shots.
Photographs are a really important part of your day as these will
act as memories and possibly hang on the wall of your ancestors for
years to come. This didn’t happen at my wedding but happened at a
friends and only for me and my camera she would have lost the bulk
of her shots. The photographer may not know it’s happened until it’s
too late as the film just keeps tightening and tightening. My
friends’ wedding was a couple of years ago and I didn’t have as well
as quality camera as I have now. The result is 5mp photos that can’t
be blown up very big.
6. Make sure you have a plan B place for
taking your photos. I asked a nursing home the month before my
wedding if I could take pictures in their home. It had a long
winding staircase and grand piano, so it was nice. Indoor photos are
a must if it’s pouring outside because otherwise you will be looking
wet and bedraggled and the photographers’ kit will be drenched. If
you don’t have a plan B then you run the chance of taking
photographs in a hotel situation with a toilet sign stuck above your
head or something!
7. Do not go and book something just because
you think its the cheapest you may get. You have to make sure that
the person you book is genuine. Speak with them. Ask to see their
things. If they are a new business and don’t have a reputation yet,
the chances are that they will be trying to make an impression but
just to make sure tell them you're holding back a proportion of the
money until after they deliver what you’re asking because you want
to ensure you get what you’re asking and they don’t have a proven
track record.
8. Do not let your hotel push you around.
These places make a mint from weddings and an unhappy bride and
groom who let others know is bad for their business. Let them know
this (in a good way) just let them know that you have people who are
looking for feedback from you regarding their service.
9. Regarding shoes again. I paid £80 for my
shoes and they came from the belle range. Do not assume that
spending more money will be kinder to your feet. Of me and my 2
bridesmaids. One bridesmaid had Katz and her feet were sore, they
cost £40, the other had Rainbows which cost £45 and had a 5 inch
heel and were superb, not even a blister. Mine were the most
expensive and I was running around in bare feet by the end of the
night but when I tried on the Rainbow shoes I saw why my BMs feet
were fine. So much padding in the sole and around the toes!! What I
am saying is that you need to try them on and walk around in them.
Go somewhere that does more than one size.
10. When buying lingerie ask the advice of
the person who is doing your alterations or the shop you bought the
dress from. You cannot have a Basque under all dresses. Mine
couldn’t because of the boning. 2 sets of boning would have been
uncomfortable. I only found this out after I bought the Basque.
11. When thinking about how to entertain
your guests while you are getting photos done there are cheaper
options. Use a couple of members from the same band at the ceremony,
record a CD of your favourite songs for the hotel to play, or if
your sure its going to be a good day why not purchase some cheap
lawn games. (We had giant connect 4, croquet, French bowls and hop
scotch on the stand by in case it stopped raining. sadly it didn’t)
12. Make sure that everything is kept in the
same place. I got married from my parents place and brought things
there gradually. Unfortunately I didn’t heed my own advice were my
tiara was concerned and left it in the car thinking it would be
there when I went to get my hair done. Sadly it wasn’t but
thankfully I had enough wired orchids to save the day and it looked
fine anyhow.
13. Don’t let your bridesmaids boss you
around. If you seem like you have lost direction in their eyes then
they will automatically take the wheel. These are your friends, so
there is no need to be a bridezilla but just make sure you get what
you want on your day. They will be sure to get what they want on
theirs.
14. Don’t forget to enjoy yourself in the
planning stages. Don’t make it into a labourious task that just has
to be done. I was stressed to the eyeballs and now I can’t believe I
got so worked up.
15. Treat yourself. Facials, massages,
manicures, pedicures. Make sure you look after yourself and go
somewhere where you can turn off your mobile and relax. It’s
extremely important because you don’t want a nerve rash on your big
day. But don’t have a facial on the month of your wedding as it will
bring the impurities to the surface and give you spots.
16. Don’t ever buy bridesmaid dresses or any
other item from online shops based outside the UK. You may end up
paying large customs charges and postage for this side of the water.
They may seem cheap but they won’t be as cheap and the saving really
isn’t worth the hassle.
17. Know what will suit. The wedding shop never thought
that the dress I picked would suit but on the day you would never
have guessed that there was a midriff the size of the Himalayas
hiding under there. Make sure you’re not too distracted by what
looks good on the models in the catalogues and you know the tips for
disguising anything you are self conscious about. Eg I hate the top
of my arms so I bought an organza bolero type thing.
18. Flower girls are not always a good idea. I had 2
angels and one that was very prone to tantrums. So choose the flower
girls carefully. The one that is prone to tantrums doesn’t live over
here and so hadn’t already got a bond with me. That bond is so
important because little girls do things perfectly for their
favourite Auntie but play up for people who aren’t that close
something shocking!
19. Choose your bridesmaids very carefully.
The nature of Bridal dresses is that it’s very hard to get to the
toilet. So if you have a friend who you’re comfortable seeing your
bum, she is bridesmaid material, if not then she isn’t bridesmaid
material. Simple as. We had a hoot going to the loo on my wedding
day. One bridesmaid holding the back and the other the front. You
can picture the scene
20. Getting an amateur to do your flowers can pay off. I
got an amateur to decorate the church and then a freelance florist
to do my bouquets. I made sure both people liaised with each other.
The church looked brilliant and so did the bouquets. I’m not
suggesting anyone use someone that doesn’t know a rose from a
gladioli but if you keep your ear to the ground (especially in
church circles) there is usually a talented local who does arranging
at a fraction of the cost. My guy is a floral art champion.
21. Make sure that you already have a bond with or that you
build a bond with the younger members of your bridal party early on.
The last couple of months are really too hectic to be running around
after a little miss prim who may or may not put on her dress on the
morning
22. Think carefully about having attendants
who have to get flights to come over for fittings etc. If you ask
someone over the water then make sure that they are told at the time
that this means they will have to take time off work to come over
for fittings and pay for their own flights. Otherwise you may end up
in the situation I was in. I wanted my flower girl and mother to
come over so she could be measured and her dress altered. Mother
said she would only pay for one way flight and stay until wedding. I
therefore was entertaining guests the week before my wedding (as if
things aren’t stressful enough). That being said, it did help a bit
with the bonding thing.
23. If you have a strapless dress and want straps. Consider
having them halter instead of ordinary. This usually follows the
line of the dress better and it doesn’t then look like they have
been added. I did consider doing this but then found my bolero thing
and thought it would look too busy with bolero and halter straps.
24. Give your photographer a list of photographs and make
him/her stick to it. My photographer is brilliant but wasn’t very
happy when he had to shoot full family shots inside. He asked if I
wanted him to work miracles and I assertively said 'No, I want you
to look through a lens and press a button and in my experience that
isn’t too hard'. I showed him where he could take them and I will
now have photographs of people who may not be around in years to
come.
25. Get wedding Insurance as early on as
possible. I actually didn’t and when my niece died I wanted to
postpone the wedding but I hadn’t Insurance and that meant I would
have lost all my deposits. I’m glad I didn’t postpone it as well
because the wedding really helped my family through.
26. (Connected to 24 and 25 in a way) Never
take it for granted that there will be other opportunities to take
family photos as you never know how long you have people (no matter
how young).
27. Decide and talk about what you are doing
about having kids. Are you having any? How many are you wanting?
When are you wanting them? And decide on birth control. These are
things that men need to be cornered into talking about but my friend
got married and her husband started to get a complex about her not
conceiving. It actually turned out that there had been a complete
lack of communication and my friend had got an implant in her arm
for birth control. Her husband didn’t know, and she just assumed he
wouldn’t want kids so early. Another situation, my cousin got
married to a woman who wanted kids and he didn’t want kids. Caused
loads of rows! It’s a burning issue that can cause marriage break
ups, so discuss it now!
28. People spend an age on a seating plan for the meal but
don’t bother their heads when they know room will be tight in the
church. Its not good enough counting how many people can fit in. You
have to bear in mind that people will want to sit with their
families so if a family of 6 is late and there are 6 places left but
not together, then this is a problem. Our ushers had a seating plan
of sorts. We had all the family named and after that we had counted
how many parties of 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 etc there were and made a plan of
the church with each party of 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, colour coded. That way
it didn’t matter who they seated where, as long as everyone fitted
together like a perfect game of tetris and they weren’t split from
their family. This saved time for us as we had 207 guests on the day
and it would have taken ages for the ushers to go through the names
otherwise.
29. If you want to travel the world and your
fiancé is a home bird then you may want to get this out of your
system before you marry or discuss the option of going with a friend
instead of him. Basically anything that will affect your partner,
emotionally, financially or logistically needs to be discussed at an
early stage.
30. Having a group photograph at the church
is a very good way to include even those who have planned something
in between. We couldn’t do this because of the size of crowd and
because of the rain. So bear in mind that this may be a photograph
that you won’t get unless you have somewhere planned that has a
large enough staircase or slope in which to put the whole of your
guests. If there is no slope or staircase then the photographer can
get everyone in by taking it from a height.
31. When you are receiving presents please
bear in mind that you will have to put them somewhere. As you get
something that is going to replace an old version of the same thing.
Offer the old one to someone who is in need of that same item. This
is with exception to toasters and kettles because a spare of these 2
items is always a very good idea as they constantly break down.
32. If you are getting an engagement
photograph done before the wedding try to wear a plain block of
colour rather than a busy pattern. This is especially if you are
getting a black and white one done. No. 1 The colours won’t
translate No 2 Fashion moves on and rather than being embarrassed
later it’s better to be wearing something that doesn’t date No. 3
and this is the most important. The subject of the photograph is
supposed to be you and not your top! No 4. Do not wear white as this
will probably be the same as the back drop used by the photographer
and your head will look like its floating in mid air.
33. Do not assume that big stores such as
Debenhams are the best for your wedding list. They very often run
out of stock and make substitutions of items and this will peeve off
your guests.
34. Never assume anything. Definitely don’t assume that
your man will know even the simplest of things. At the wedding I was
helping with and attending, the groom had been asked by the bride to
sort out the balloons. Now the bride may have thought that this was
one of the simplest things that couldn’t go wrong but the groom
asked us if we would help him blow up the balloons with him. When I
got there I found that the balloons had "Just married" written on
them. The problem with this is that the Just married was written to
suit the balloons being blown up by helium. I alerted the groom to
this (thinking that he would realise his mistake and have a laugh
about it) but the poor man had no idea that balloons didn’t float
without helium. I actually had to demonstrate this by dropping the
balloon to the floor. So Girls, If you want something done by your
nearest and dearest just get them to talk you through their plan of
how they will make it happen and this will let you know if its gonna
drop like a blown up balloon or fly like a helium one.
35. On the subject of balloons. I checked
with my hotel and they blew them up for me and provided them free.
If this isn’t the case there is the option of employing someone who
definitely knows what they are doing or going along to Clinton cards
or another card shop and paying them per balloon to fill them with
helium or high flow. (Be warned this does need to be booked in
advance and usually 24 hours in advance. I had to beg Clinton cards
in Sunderland to do it at 14 hours notice.)
36. If you are going for the do it yourself
option then you need to be aware that helium only lasts 10 hours and
therefore your balloons will need picked up on the day of the
wedding by a responsible individual. You can opt for high flow and
this will last approx 3 days and so can be installed the night
before but this will cost more than helium.
37. Don’t assume that your best man knows to
get a guest book. I personally had to save the day by zipping along
to Debenhams on the morning of the wedding for a guest book. It was
extremely expensive compared to ours (which was bought on eBay) so I
would recommend reminding your best man that it is his
responsibility and actually asking to see it before the day.
38. If buying a Marks and Spencer’s cake and
decorating it yourself I have a tip as my husband used to be a
baker. It is really important to cover your cake boards because
otherwise it will be obvious that it hasn’t been professionally
decorated but cover your boards and the day shall be saved. All you
need is some ribbon that is the same depth as the board or slightly
deeper. You will need to mix an egg white with icing sugar until it
is able to stand on its own but still capable of being pushed
through a bag. Make sure it is pretty firm. Put it in a zip and seal
bag and snip off a small bit of the corner (this is the cheapo
unprofessional way to make a piping bag), Then run it around the
edge of the board squeezing a line of icing out. The ribbon should
then stick easily to the board. This is a good way to personalise
the cake by matching the ribbon to the bridesmaid colour. >
39. This is one for you girls that have
bridesmaids who live in different parts of the country. The Bride
had 3 bridesmaids and a flower girl. 2 lived in England and 1
bridesmaid and the flower girl in Northern Ireland. The bride
decided on 2 different colours and a style of dress and sent the
bridesmaids out to find them. She then said yay or nay to what she
saw. I thought this worked perfectly and actually seemed to save a
lot of stress.
My thanks to Claire for her tips. You can visit her site at www.bridalbeautyni.co.uk |
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